We rented for years, then spent most of one winter going back and forth about whether to buy. A checklist on 16 Gorge Lane finally got us to write down the facts instead of the feelings. The facts decided it, more or less on their own.

The first question was how long we meant to stay. Not how long we hoped to, how long we probably would, given our families, our work and the fact that we like this town. If the honest answer is a couple of years, buying rarely makes sense once you add up the cost of moving in and out again.

Renting kept us loose. When my partner's contract changed, we moved closer to the new site and it cost us a van and a weekend. As owners we would have been stuck with a commute or a sale.

Owning brings maintenance you cannot postpone. A boiler dies in January, gutters fill, a fence goes over in the wind. None of that is dramatic, but it is yours, and it does not wait for a convenient month.

Our jobs were part of the sum too. One of us works close enough to walk, the other drives. That decided the area more than any listing did. If one of us had been commuting the long way every day, the answer might have been different.

The last thing, and the one that mattered most, was talking it through properly as a couple. We each wrote down what we wanted and read the lists out loud, which felt ridiculous and saved us months. I wanted a garden and a short walk to the shops. He wanted a small mortgage and a spare room for his brother. We got most of it.